Reply To: Sense of confirming?
What you are describing is familiar, and many who are called to these ways describe similar experiences…
Perhaps you mean, when you say it has power, there is a sense of something that sustains, enlivens, as if the experience is maybe becoming a part of your ground a little bit, something like that…?
It seems evident you know we are speaking about something that can’t be spoken, though we can sometimes share, in awareness, a simple knowing that we are the same as what we are reaching for through or words. When this is fully known there will be the end of reaching, for we have realized we are what we are reaching for.
Sometimes, through words, gestures, art, music, there is a sense of pointings, openings, guidance, nudges, joinings, and we realize something is helping us, sort of helpful moments along a common way we are not able to follow using our conditioned beliefs in time, past, future, other, separation… Yet we trust this way, knowing somehow that it leads us to the Truth of Love.
Sometimes big events can happen, difficult moments, big changes, and yet everything, when seen in Truth, is showing us the way back to our Self, a place we never left, only believed we did.
You ask if some light can be shined on the below:
“During this time of clearness I have noticed what I feel are triggers or a small pocket of question, a very vague ‘comeback’ of unclarity, with clarity behind it… To me its unclear why they come. I just try to let them be. They come in the form of disharmony with certain family members or situations…. To me I feel this is a kind of testing, maybe a kind of confirming or deepening of my understanding…”
Perhaps the “comeback” of unclarity as you call it is just another opportunity for you to notice that you are always and still the “clarity behind..?” As you say, “let them be…” Not so much asking “why” in other words, but rather, simply recognizing another opportunity to remember this that you are…
“Why” questions tend to fall away, at least after a while. Do we want to know answers, or do we want to be Truth…?
In regards to what you call disharmony, it takes two for there to be “testing.” You, as Truth, are your own confirmation. There is no other. “Deepening of (your) understanding,” yes. Along the way understanding is very helpful, but only as writings on water, so to speak, rather than ideas, beliefs, answers…
Rather than testing, try the term healing, healing of the belief in the illusion of separation…? Sort of like we heal rather than actually awaken, for the Truth of us never slept, there was only the belief that we were something other which then seems to awaken, until we realize we were never not this.
It is likely that healing will continue to come up for you for a while… For as long as there is any belief in separation there will continue to be at times what seems to be disharmony… It is the belief in separation itself that is coming up for healing, over and over for as long as it takes, all the many forms it may still be hiding in, conditioning, beliefs in a past that does not exist, all the many ways separation, also called ego, identity, somebody, maintains the illusion of its existence. Until it is no longer believed.
Regarding “certain family members or situations” there is no other, there is only Brother, Sister, Self… Even when seeming others don’t seem to know that.
In my own journey one of the beautiful things that is becoming ever more evident is that we are all on the same journey, and that we are all guided by the same Love. Even when it doesn’t look like love. I need take no one with me (can’t), for God, Spirit, Love, Truth, whatever term suits, is and will do a much better job of it than me. I don’t even need to take myself, for God is doing a better job of that as well. I need only say yes, be a little willing, surrender all beliefs in separation as much as I am able in each moment, and learn what I am given to learn.
It is the same Truth of Love in the heart of each of us. All we need know is that, and that is enough. God has each and every one of us perfectly in Her Hands.