Reply To: Non Duality
You write that “the patterns of thinking and beliefs I hold have caused me a lot of suffering,” which suggests you are beginning to notice, at least to some degree, that this you, the one seeking to be free of the past, is not your thoughts and beliefs.
Enabling your experience to expand upon that noticing, however ephemeral it may presently seem to be, could be helpful. Give more of your attention to this noticing in other words. It is awareness that notices beliefs, emotions and negative thoughts. The indifference that Rupert Spira speaks of might be better described as a benevolent or loving indifference. Sort of a recognition and allowing without concern.
Are you not aware..? Not a trick question, not something to think about, just simply, right now, as you read these words, are you aware..?
What is it that is knowing right now that it is aware..?
If you really enter into this inquiry you may begin to discover that it is you who are aware, and that it is you awareness who knows that you are aware.
You just forgot. All separate identity is based upon preserving that forgetting. It is a primal forgetting that could be characterized as the bedrock upon which the meta belief in separation rests. As the various beliefs and memories we use to reinforce that forgetting begin to dissolve, the sense of separation itself, some call it ego, will begin to fall away. In the absence of separation is found the truth and love that was always here, which is also what we are.
Separation is the core belief every human is born into. We are taught to reinforce that belief most of all in our relationships with each other. It is also the one single belief that all of the seeming world is based upon.
All the beliefs that we have accumulated since we first learned we are not our mother and we are not the crib we are lying in keep distracting up from this simple truth that we are. Continuing that earlier journey of learning what we are not is what some of these teachings are about, in a sense.
Eventually we can begin to realize we are also not “a brain and a body with thought and feeling.” For as long as we continue to believe we are a body we will continue to believe in a world of separation, fear and pain.
Within such a process of unlearning there can awaken the beginnings of a trust and a surrender into this truth that we always and already are. It has been called Awareness, Love, God, Buddha Nature… Yet all terms, words and stories are, at their best, only fingers pointing to this that we already are.
What we are ultimately here for is not about making a better dream life in a dream world. If that seems to be the calling for someone, then so it is until it is not.
The only purpose of the dream world is to discover we are dreaming. When we first begin to get some glimmers of that, we may also begin to discover that all along and most of all we have been yearning to realize ourselves as the One who is the dreamer of the dream. When it is realized and finally accepted that that is really all we want, the dream will begin to serve the only true purpose it can ever really have, to wake up.
In the ripening of time everything we seem to believe can be turned around and used by the spirit of love, or in other words by our own heart’s deepest calling, to wake up to this truth that we always and already are.
Maybe explore some of the other pointings on this site..? And as things unfold or occur for you maybe share some more here..?