Sense of confirming?

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  • #4330
    Darius
    Participant

    For the past few months I experienced the up and downs of being lost and found again. There was constant turmoil or “the battle with the mind” (dark night of the soul) if you will. During that phase I felt that I was trying to decide what was real, referencing the blissful clear moments. After a little while of this, 6-7 months or so, an understanding has happened, clear seeing, the sense of being awake in the blissful unknown KNOWING true place… And this time it seems to have power, so here is my question… During this time of clearness I have noticed what I feel are triggers or a small pocket of question, a very vague “comeback” of unclarity, with clarity behind it… To me its unclear why they come. I just try to let them be. They come in the form of disharmony with certain family members or situations…. To me I feel this is a kind of testing, maybe a kind of confirming or deepening of my understanding.. Can anyone shine some light on this seeing or has anyone experienced the same? Thank you so much! Namesté

    #4352
    SpiritAwake
    Keymaster

    What you are describing is familiar, and many who are called to these ways describe similar experiences…

    Perhaps you mean, when you say it has power, there is a sense of something that sustains, enlivens, as if the experience is maybe becoming a part of your ground a little bit, something like that…?

    It seems evident you know we are speaking about something that can’t be spoken, though we can sometimes share, in awareness, a simple knowing that we are the same as what we are reaching for through or words.  When this is fully known there will be the end of reaching, for we have realized we are what we are reaching for.

    Sometimes, through words, gestures, art, music, there is a sense of pointings, openings, guidance, nudges, joinings, and we realize something is helping us, sort of helpful moments along a common way we are not able to follow using our conditioned beliefs in time, past, future, other, separation…  Yet we trust this way, knowing somehow that it leads us to the Truth of Love.

    Sometimes big events can happen, difficult moments, big changes, and yet everything, when seen in Truth, is showing us the way back to our Self, a place we never left, only believed we did.

    You ask if some light can be shined on the below:

    “During this time of clearness I have noticed what I feel are triggers or a small pocket of question, a very vague ‘comeback’ of unclarity, with clarity behind it… To me its unclear why they come. I just try to let them be. They come in the form of disharmony with certain family members or situations…. To me I feel this is a kind of testing, maybe a kind of confirming or deepening of my understanding…”

    Perhaps the “comeback” of unclarity as you call it is just another opportunity for you to notice that you are always and still the “clarity behind..?”  As you say, “let them be…”  Not so much asking “why” in other words, but rather, simply recognizing another opportunity to remember this that you are…  

    “Why” questions tend to fall away, at least after a while.  Do we want to know answers, or do we want to be Truth…?

    In regards to what you call disharmony, it takes two for there to be “testing.”  You, as Truth, are your own confirmation.  There is no other.  “Deepening of (your) understanding,” yes. Along the way understanding is very helpful, but only as writings on water, so to speak, rather than ideas, beliefs, answers…

    Rather than testing, try the term healing, healing of the belief in the illusion of separation…?  Sort of like we heal rather than actually awaken, for the Truth of us never slept, there was only the belief that we were something other which then seems to awaken, until we realize we were never not this.  

    It is likely that healing will continue to come up for you for a while…  For as long as there is any belief in separation there will continue to be at times what seems to be disharmony…  It is the belief in separation itself that is coming up for healing, over and over for as long as it takes, all the many forms it may still be hiding in, conditioning, beliefs in a past that does not exist, all the many ways separation, also called ego, identity, somebody, maintains the illusion of its existence.  Until it is no longer believed. 

    Regarding “certain family members or situations” there is no other, there is only Brother, Sister, Self…  Even when seeming others don’t seem to know that.

    In my own journey one of the beautiful things that is becoming ever more evident is that we are all on the same journey, and that we are all guided by the same Love.  Even when it doesn’t look like love.  I need take no one with me (can’t), for God, Spirit, Love, Truth, whatever term suits, is and will do a much better job of it than me.  I don’t even need to take myself, for God is doing a better job of that as well.  I need only say yes, be a little willing, surrender all beliefs in separation as much as I am able in each moment, and learn what I am given to learn.

    It is the same Truth of Love in the heart of each of us.  All we need know is that, and that is enough.  God has each and every one of us perfectly in Her Hands.

    #4392
    Darius
    Participant

    Hello everyone,

    This question has risen inside and I know that the answer will come that way as well, but I’ve written a bit about this in a few previous posts. I wrote in my last post that “unclarity” had come back with “clarity” behind it..

    OK well now I’m going through it again right at this very moment as I’m typing so I thought it would be interesting to describe what I’m experiencing. The above reply, which has been really helpful and reflective for me mentions that perhaps the clarity or sense of awareness is starting to become my ground a bit.. The comment sparked an interest, (because?) nothing is ever dismissed or fully accepted (by this writer?) these days (possibly), but this episode that is here now I notice is VERY subtle! It is there (here?) tho.

    Before it (unclarity?) seemed to take over my entire “FIELD or space” (experience?) if you will.. It was the awareness or “clarity” that seemed to be missing or subtle.  Now this unclarity is subtle, or the (mind)  for better understanding (mind in this context is a vague term, are you meaning confusion, belief, suffering?)… To me it feels that I am possibly going deeper? I want to ask has anyone else been here, and could this possibly be the deepening of the truth… It also feels kind of like I’m starting to barely see the difference between the two as if unclarity and clarity are disappearing it’s hard to explain can anyone shed light? Thank you namasté

    #4399
    SpiritAwake
    Keymaster

    Hi Darius,

    Your post above has been moved to here because it follows up on and refers to things mentioned in this topic/thread, and so would be most helpful to stay in this thread, rather than starting a new topic/thread.   I’ve reformatted your post above a bit to try to understand it for myself, perhaps for others, and have added some comments in blue as a part of that.  It is a perk of being the webmaster.   

    If I’ve misunderstood you can correct me in any further replies.    And in regards to what to call me (re: text I pulled out), SpiritAwake will do when there is need for a reference.   

    All that you are describing is pretty common amongst folks called in these ways.  Spirit, the Universe, God, Self, however referred to, seems to be calling you into the beginnings of conscious play of Self with self.  There are many variations, yet it is the same play.  

    Don’t try to figure it out, allow Life to play with you and as you.  In Truth there is no one to go deeper.   Your curiosity, interest and desire to understand is natural, and seems to be working for you now.  Perhaps Guidance is calling you deeper, but no knowing.  

    You are blessed by what is happening, just know that, and let it be your gratefulness that deepens.  In Truth all beloveds are blessed, but only a few seem to be called to realize it in any particular lifetime or generation.

    You will over time begin to realize, more and more and more, that you cannot do it, so to speak, or know in the way you are presently trying to know, as if there is some map, schematic or alchemical formula you are beginning to decipher.  Allow whatever seems to be happening to inform you as much or as little it does, but as a writing on water.  

    Let your interest be a light rather than an activity, be in each moment true, and Spirit will reveal to you in that light that you are whatever is helpful to you, in Her own timing and Her own way.   Interest as in willingness, just a simple yes in your heart.

    The best way to know is to be open and allow the knowing to become you, as it will, no holding on to any of it…

    This is a journey of many lifetimes in form, so to speak, for most beloveds.  It could be this is the last lifetime in form for you.  But no knowing, ever.  Until even the interest in knowing is no more.    Simply allow this possibility that seems to be revealing itself to you take as long as it takes and reveal to you as it will.  

    It is not a better you, nor a better dream of this world that you are becoming or being called to (same thing).  Let yourself truly Love what is leading you, guiding you, calling you.   It is That which is guiding all of us, which we always and already Are in Truth, and that we are also and always becoming, for as long as there is a belief in time.

    #4400
    Darius
    Participant

    Yes the corrections you wrote were correct and thank you for that!

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